literature

Immersed - Part I

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Literature Text

Immersed

 

Summary: Hiccup, overwhelmed by his many duties as chief, is encouraged by his wife Astrid to take a day off and relax. But when has a Viking ever experienced undisturbed recreation? Oneshot split into two parts. Contains spoilers for How To Train Your Dragon 2.

Rating: T

Author’s Note: This turned out to be a pretty long oneshot, so grab some yaknog and sit tight!


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Part I

 

Luminous beams of midmorning sunlight streamed through the narrow windows of a small wooden shack, illuminating its inhabitants. Hiccup sat stooped over a desk littered with countless pieces of parchment and loosely bound books, focusing intently on a particularly large volume of scribbles. The young slender chief found great use in the small study he had recently constructed onto the back of his house, filling it with copious notes of new dragons and blueprints for inventions. Plastered on the walls were many fragments of maps, combining to depict a vast ocean of dragon-infested islands. The expansive map had been unhappily neglected for quite a while, for Hiccup’s new role as chief had absorbed most of his time. The remainder of his time was distributed between his beautiful wife Astrid and his best friend Toothless, two beings he could never ignore.

 

While Hiccup enclosed himself in his study for many different reasons, he was currently immersed in administrative matters, researching a solution to another ridiculous dilemma. Every day that passed since he became chief of Berk increased his respect for his late father, Stoick the Vast. One of the many unpleasant duties of a chief was arbitration, which meant attempting to settle disputes between the most obstinate folk in the world. Hiccup could only wonder how his father had borne that obligation with such unwavering resolve. Seemingly trivial quarrels thoroughly tried Hiccup’s patience and ingenuity.

 

The Viking’s concentration was too intense to be easily interrupted, even when the door opened with a loud creek. However, the delicious odor that drifted into his study, accompanied by the sweet voice of his wife, proved capable of breaking his absorption. Tearing his eyes away from his work, he was greeted with the welcome sight of Astrid holding a tray of food.

 

“Hey babe, I brought you some lunch,” Astrid said, setting down a plate of grilled cod and boiled potatoes on top of his desk.

 

Hiccup’s stomach automatically growled, pleading for some nourishment. His brain, however, rejected the appetizing morsels. “Thanks, Astrid, but I really can’t take a break right now,” he replied with regret, thoroughly wishing he could immediately accept his wife’s considerate present. “I’ve just got too much to do.”

 

These words weren’t new to Astrid; many times in the past few weeks Hiccup had neglected eating when engaged in his study or in the village, faithfully performing his role as chief. As his wife, Astrid assisted him in every possible way, but a considerable amount of work still remained for Hiccup to tackle. Although she admired Hiccup’s determination and diligence, the rings around his eyes told of exhaustion, worrying her. Perpetual labor wasn’t beneficial for anyone, even a Viking. Taking a seat on the corner of his desk, Astrid asked, “Okay, well what work do you have to do? Maybe I can help you finish it faster.”

 

Without tearing his eyes away from the tawny pages of his book, Hiccup replied, “No, you do too much for me already, dear. Taking care of Toothless is enough work.”

 

Astrid responded with a chuckle. “It’s not work, Hiccup, and you know that!” Although the Night Fury was quite demanding of attention, he was certainly a joy to ride.  Every morning and evening when Hiccup was overwhelmed with duties, Astrid would take the dragon for a brisk ride around the neighboring islands. Having completed the morning round, she was eager to assist her husband with other tasks. A frustrated groan from Hiccup as he rapidly turned the pages of his book prompted Astrid to further inquire into his current occupation. “What’s troubling you?”

 

Heaving a discouraged sigh, Hiccup closed his book and tossed it onto a disorderly pile of similar looking volumes. “The villagers can’t seem to get along!” he groaned, placing his head in his hands. “There’s always some dispute! I solve one and another arises!”

 

“Well what can you expect? We’re Vikings,” Astrid observed lightheartedly. Another groan from Hiccup told her that that fact didn’t provide much aid. “Who’s arguing now?”

 

“Varg the Vicious and Haldor the Horrible,” Hiccup replied, opening another decrepit book. “They’re fighting over a Terrible Terror. Varg claims it’s rightfully his, while Haldor swears Varg stole it from him!” Flipping through dusty pages, he continued. “I’ve tried every tactic I know, but neither will relent! Reasoning with them won’t work! I even suggested we cut the dragon in half, hoping that the true owner would be horrified by that idea, but both of them whipped out their axes! I’m really stumped.” The book in his possession, deemed useless, was thrown into the pile and a new one was retrieved. “I’ve been poring over my dad’s chief logs, hoping to gain some insight. He’s resolved so many issues, from ‘your fence is on my land’ to ‘you stole my hook arm,’ but I can’t find anything similar to this!” His rapid, stressed words became softer as his eyes grew mournful. “I…I wish he were here…”

 

Although she had witnessed Hiccup fall into this grieving mood in the past, Astrid was never quite certain of how to comfort him. She could only imagine what acute pain he was still harboring from the loss of his father. After a few moments of respectful silence, she gently ventured a suggestion. “You’ve been very tense lately. Why not take the day off?”

 

Hiccup, whose eyes had been focused on his father’s scribbles, raised his gaze to Astrid. His wife, with sparkling blue eyes and an especially tender smile, placed a warm hand on his. In the azure pools of Astrid’s eyes swirled a radiant blend of love and concern, beckoning Hiccup to release his taxing burdens and partake in her mirth. His soul, wild and untamable, fervently urged him to spread his wings and fly, escaping everything that sought to cage him. However, his heart challenged those desires, reminding him of all his responsibilities as chief of Berk. Conflicted and hesitant, Hiccup replied with a sigh, “I can’t. After I eventually figure this thing out, I need to oversee the expansion the stables, hold a meeting in the Great Hall, help Gobber out with an elaborate saddle, stop the twins from – ”

 

Astrid, realizing that reasoning with words wasn’t enough to liberate Hiccup from his burdens, decided upon a more effective method. As Hiccup had been rattling off his endless to-do list, she leaned over, grabbed his shirt collar, pulled him towards her, and deposited an especially persuasive kiss onto his lips. With very willing consent, Hiccup closed his eyes and returned the gesture, pulling her off the desk and onto his lap. Every obligation that impeded his restless soul was melted away by the fiery passion of his wife’s adoration. Astrid felt her husband’s body relax considerably as she wrapped him in a tender embrace, continuing the treatment until he felt like yak butter parfait in her arms. Much to Hiccup’s disappointment, Astrid broke off the kiss to discern if his mind had been changed. “Come on, let’s run away together…” she proposed, planting fairy-like kisses on his face. “…Just you, me, Toothless, and Stormfly…a relaxing day away from the island. What do you say?”

 

Hiccup required no further thought on this issue; his wife’s caresses successfully convinced him. An invigorating sensation surged through his body at the anticipation of a mirthful, carefree day. “When do we leave?” he asked enthusiastically, his lips curving into a large, toothy grin.

 

Her mission complete, Astrid hopped off Hiccup’s lap and headed for the door. “Just as soon as I pack some lunch and you saddle up the dragons!” With great pride in her success, she exited the study and was soon followed by her eager husband. The cluttered little room became quiet and still, an abandoned plate of fish and potatoes silently beckoning all the Terrible Terrors in the vicinity.

 

After Hiccup opened the front door of his house and stepped out, not another moment passed before Toothless gleefully pounced on him, knocking him to the ground. With a joyous coo, the Night Fury commenced soaking him in dragon saliva. “Whoa there, Bud!” the Viking laughed, trying to pry himself out of the overly enthusiastic dragon’s grasp. “I haven’t been away that long, have I?”

 

Toothless sat up, allowing his master to smooth his disheveled shirt and stand up. The dragon nodded in response, indicating his disapproval of Hiccup’s absences. While he didn’t mind Astrid riding him, for she always smelled sweeter than his master, he deeply missed spending countless hours with Hiccup. Although the Viking attempted many times to explain to Toothless why he was always occupied, the Night Fury could not or would not understand. In his mind, he still had ample free time after governing all the dragons on Berk. Surely Hiccup’s job required less hours and effort than that of an Alpha dragon.

 

“Toothless is right,” Astrid agreed, exiting the house with a large picnic basket under one arm. “We’ve really missed you.”

 

After attempting to wipe off his slobbery face, Hiccup began scratching Toothless’ chin, earning a delighted grunt from the dragon. “Well you’ve got me all to yourselves for the rest of the day,” he replied, affectionately gazing at his wife.

 

After Toothless and Stormfly were saddled and sufficient provisions were packed, the couple mounted their dragons and soared up into the clouds. As Berk decreased into a miniscule speck in the distance, all of Hiccup’s obligations likewise dissipated. He felt alive and uninhibited, performing audacious dives and loops to reflect his emancipation. He was just himself again – Hiccup. Not Chief Hiccup, not the guy to dump your problems on, not the person who has all the answers, but just plain and simple Hiccup. Of course he was still husband Hiccup, but that was a title he currently did not mind bearing. As Astrid zoomed ahead of him and his dragon, his heart was reminded that sometimes one must simply take a break and enjoy life. Duties can be put on hold, but your burning soul cannot.

 

After a thrilling game of dragon tag, Hiccup and Toothless pulled up next to Astrid and Stormfly and flew by their side. “So, where exactly are we going?” Hiccup asked with a chuckle, realizing he knew nothing about Astrid’s plans.

 

“Oh, just a little place Toothless and I discovered this morning,” she replied nonchalantly. “On Itchy Armpit Isle.”

 

Although Hiccup and his beloved dragon had discovered and named that particular island, he had yet to explore it. He knew naught of the wonders its vast mountains and woodlands contained. “And what might this ‘little place’ be, Milady?”

 

Astrid’s grin grew wide and enigmatic. “Oh, sorry, I can’t tell you that. Toothless made me swear to secrecy.” Toothless assented with a haughty nod.

 

“Fine, keep your secrets,” Hiccup replied, feigning irritation. “But at least give me a hint!”

 

Astrid stroked her chin in contemplation for a moment before turning her gaze to the Night Fury. “What do you think, boy? One little hint wouldn’t hurt.”

 

Toothless replied with a reluctant grunt, smacking his lips and rolling his eyes as if to say “if you must…”

 

With a giggle Astrid returned her eyes to her eagerly waiting husband. “All right. We are going to this particular spot to swim.”

 

Hiccup’s faced immediately beamed with a smug smile, absolutely certain that he had identified the type of location. “I got it! It must be a sparkling waterfall surrounded by a pool of fresh blue water!” He looked expectantly at his wife, trying to obtain the answer from her eyes. On the rare occasion that the weather was warm enough to invite swimming, he enjoyed taking a dip in one of the beautiful lakes on Berk and its surrounding islands. His hopes were high that Astrid had found another one to add to his “favorite summer spots” list.

 

However, Astrid just released a laugh and turned her sights back to the sky in front of her. “You will see…” was her ambiguous reply. Before Hiccup could utter a complaint, she had urged Stormfly to accelerate, vanishing into a cottony cloud.

 

Thus the grand chase commenced. Hiccup and Toothless darted after the female Viking and dragon, in close pursuit of Stormfly’s spiky tail. Astrid’s competitive nature spurred her onward, driving her Deadly Nadder even faster through the cloud speckled sky. By the time the exceptionally swift Night Fury had reached its feisty friends, they were hovering directly above Itchy Armpit Isle. As soon as the riders instructed their dragons, the reptiles descended onto the island, alighting atop a verdant hill.

 

Hiccup watched inquisitively as his wife dismounted her dragon, waiting for her to point him in the correct direction. “Where to now?” he asked as he hopped off Toothless.

 

“This way,” Astrid responded, leading Stormfly by her front horn. As she began the trek down the slope, Toothless nudged Hiccup’s back, urging him to follow her. Like the obedient Viking Toothless had trained him to be, Hiccup complied and started after his wife. By the time the one-legged man caught up with Astrid, she and Stormfly had paused before a vast curtain of willow branches. With a wide grin that was mirrored by Toothless, Astrid pulled aside the drooping leaves like silk drapes, revealing the enchanted haven.

 

A long pause ensued before Hiccup spoke. “This…is not what I expected.” Before his eyes lay an entirely different vista than he had envisioned. No glistening waterfall cascaded down a rocky crag, and no pristine pool of sapphire water rested at the bottom. Instead the scenery was painted with hues of brown, green, and grey, depicting a hazy, muddy swamp.

 

“I know,” replied Astrid triumphantly. “We’ve run into plenty of lakes and rivers, but how many swamps do you know that are uninhabited by hostile dragons?”

 

“None, since Breakneck Bog doesn’t count,” Hiccup answered. After another moment of absorbing the sights and sounds, the Viking decided that although it was not what he expected, the murky marsh held promise. “We have to keep this place a secret. Can you imagine what chaos there would be if the Vikings on Berk discovered this mud hole?”

 

Astrid laughed, picturing the entire population swarming Itchy Armpit Isle to immerse their bodies in grime and filth. “Yeah. Sounds like a great plan,” she agreed.

 

As Hiccup approached the shore and inserted his hand into the murky water, Toothless imitated his master, placing his curious nose into the swamp. Upon contact with the water, the dragon jolted his head up and sneezed, displeased with the strange sensation on his nose. With a chuckle Hiccup reached up his grimy hand and patted Toothless’ head, earning a disgruntled groan from the Night Fury. “Aw, what’s the matter, big baby poo? Afraid of a little mud?” In response to this taunting, Toothless wildly shook the mud off his head, splattering it onto Hiccup’s face. The Viking did not verbally protest, for the peeved expression on his face effectively conveyed his annoyance as he wiped his face with his sleeve. However, his vexation melted away after Toothless offered him an apologetic lick. “What do you want to name this place, bud?” he asked his dragon, scratching him under his chin.

 

“Toothless and I have already named it,” Astrid interjected, advancing from behind.

 

With a look of pleasant surprise, Hiccup draped an arm around her and drew her closer. “Oh you have, have you? Typical Astrid, always stealing the fun,” he mockingly complained, receiving a giggle. “I bet it’s something really uncreative like ‘Island Swamp’ or ‘Mud Swamp.’” Hiccup stifled a laugh, for witty banter was decidedly the couple’s second favorite activity.

 

“Oh, and ‘Dragon Island’ is creative?” Astrid questioned with an amused grin.

 

“I think it’s one of my most ingenious names,” Hiccup boasted, continuing the repartee. Then he turned to his Night Fury for affirmation, his left hand still clutching his wife’s shoulder. “Wouldn’t you say so, bud?” However, Toothless’ ardent head-shaking proved less than encouraging. With feigned dismay, the Viking turned back to his wife. “Well then, Miss Clever...er…Namer, what did you name this secret alcove?”

 

“Dragon Fart Swamp,” Astrid answered simply, shrugging her shoulders. “It was his idea,” she added, gesturing to the Night Fury. Toothless, ecstatic to be credited for such an ingenious name, left his master and appeared on the other side of Astrid, affectionately licking her face.

 

“Eh, I guess it will do,” Hiccup commented, concealing his mirth with indifference. Before he could utter another sarcastic remark, Astrid had ducked out of his arms and stooped down. In an instant she had risen with a handful of sludgy mud and promptly hurled it at her husband. As it splattered onto his tunic, he exclaimed with laughter, “Hey, what was that for?” Quickly he realized that his wife had not finished the assault, and jumped to narrowly avoid the second barrage. “Watch the leg!” As Astrid was reloading her hands, Hiccup crouched down, gathered a clump of the swamp floor, and returned fire. The slimy muck splattered onto her abdomen, leaving a large brown stain on her crimson shirt.

 

“Oh, you’re going to be sorry!” Astrid threatened with a smirk. With all the force she could muster she hurled the slimy mire at her husband’s head, drenching his face and hair.

 

This volley continued for quite some time as the two Vikings bombarded each other with showers of mud. The sound of merry laughter rose up and intermingled with the other forest noises, enticing Toothless and Stormfly to join the fray. With paws and tails the two dragons hurled muck at each other, roaring in sheer delight. By the time the skirmish eventually concluded, all four participants were thoroughly covered in a layer of brown filth.

 

To claim the ultimate victory, Astrid decided upon one more attack. With a particularly large heap of mud cradled in her arms, she sprinted towards Hiccup through the murky waters, readying her aim. In a split second her scheme was thwarted, however, for her foot slipped on the viscous sludge and propelled her down on top of Hiccup. As the two lay startled in the shallow water, they required a few seconds to recover from the surprise, blinking at each other speechlessly. However, the unexpected stumble was soon utilized by Hiccup in the best method known to him.  “Come here, you,” he chuckled, drawing her into a quick kiss. “You’re so feisty!”

 

In response to his endearing compliment, Astrid recaptured his lips in an ardent kiss. As the temperature and the kiss escalated, her fingers began delicately stroking his freckled cheeks, climbing up his face until they reached his hair. Although his hair was soaked and partially immersed, she found great pleasure in running her hands through his soft auburn locks. Hiccup returned the gesture by caressing her soft face with one hand and running his other hand down her spine, eliciting a shiver. A necessary breath of air caused their lips to part for a moment, but their reunion was interrupted when Astrid sat up, sheepishly tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear.

 

“What?” Hiccup inquired, praying to all the gods that he hadn’t repelled his wife. Perhaps his breath smelled horrendous or his sweat was too pungent.

 

“Them,” Astrid responded, pointing at something beyond Hiccup. When the Viking sat up and turned around, his eyes met a highly comical, slightly distressing, but not wholly uncommon sight. On the bank of the swamp under a weeping willow tree sat Toothless and Stormfly, eyes fixed with fascination upon the crimson-faced couple.

 

“Hey!” Hiccup scolded as he and Astrid rose to their feet. “A little privacy would be nice!” In response Toothless released a guttural sort of laugh while Stormfly squawked with delight.

 

“I don’t think ‘privacy’ is in their vocabulary, babe,” Astrid observed with a soft chuckle. She accompanied her husband to the shore where the two dragons cooed jubilantly. “It was hard enough to get them to stay with Cloudjumper in the new stables you built.” As she stroked Stormfly’s scales gently, asking the Deadly Nadder where she learned to be nosy, a particular glint of green caught her eye. “I’ve got an idea,” she murmured, drawing Hiccup’s attention away from Toothless.

 

Hiccup’s eyes followed his wife to a location in the underbrush where tall blades of verdure swayed gently in the breeze. “Dragon nip!” he exclaimed, his emerald eyes expanding in realization. “Perfect!” He enthusiastically joined Astrid in tearing off some juicy looking pieces.

 

“Here you go, girl,” Astrid said gently, raising a generous helping of dragon nip to Stormfly’s gargantuan nostrils. Stormfly instantly fell intoxicated to the ground as her mistress dropped the nip and began euphorically rolling around. Toothless reacted in the same manner, rapturously cooing as he rolled onto his back.

 

“Well that was easy,” Hiccup observed, stepping back and admiring their accomplishment. At length he turned back to his wife, a mischievous glimmer in his eye. “Now we can enjoy some uninterrupted fun.”

 

“My thoughts exactly,” Astrid agreed, a wide smile gracing her features. The two began back towards the water’s edge, leaving their dragons blissfully occupied with the enchanting herb.

 

“But I think I better make a few wardrobe adjustments first,” Hiccup expressed, gesturing to his attire. His grey tunic, a garment much simpler than his riding garb, hung stiffly on his slender frame, caked in mud. It was presently removed, accompanied by his trousers and boot. He watched Astrid strip down to her undergarments as well, awaiting her assistance in removing his metal leg. Once she had neatly stacked her attire onto a nearby rock, she offered aid to Hiccup. After the prosthetic leg had been successfully detached and his belongings were set beside hers, she provided him with a shoulder to lean on as he hopped towards the water. Life was certainly more complicated with only one leg, but Hiccup had adapted long ago with the faithful help of Toothless and Astrid.

 

Once the two had become almost completely immersed in the murky water, Astrid drew back to allow Hiccup to swim freely. She likewise began to move through the water, savoring the smooth sensation of gliding through mud. “You know, I might enjoy swimming in this more than clean water,” she observed. “There’s just something about it that feels so…”

 

“Creamy. Like chocolate and peanut butter,” Hiccup finished, his stomach releasing a loud gurgle.

 

“Well someone’s hungry,” Astrid remarked with amusement. “I shouldn’t have left our lunch basket tied to Stormfly’s saddle. Just look at her!” She gestured to the opposite bank where the two dragons were still intoxicated by the dragon nip.

 

“We won’t be getting to that anytime soon,” Hiccup observed with a shrug. “It’s fine. I can wait. I have other things to occupy my mind.” With that statement, he grabbed an intrigued Astrid by the waist and began swimming, keeping her beside him as he moved effortlessly through the water.

 

As birds chirped jubilantly in the towering cypresses and intricate mangroves, vibrant dragonflies darted haphazardly over the water. The swamp was enlivened with the croak of frogs and the cry of cicadas. The sunlight streaming down through the foliage was filtered into sporadic beams of light, reflecting the glorious ecstasy in the couple’s hearts. None could determine the time that elapsed as Hiccup and Astrid swam about, immersed in a velvety blanket of mud and water. Floating, paddling, diving, and racing were all explored as the two Vikings glided through the water as naturally as they soared through the air.

 

After the third exhilarating race had concluded, proclaiming Hiccup the ultimate swimming champion, Astrid paused at the far end of the swamp by a cluster of mangroves. Hiccup swam up beside her as she perched on a thick root, his foot finding a similar resting place. “See? Isn’t this much better than worrying about Viking quarrels?” she asked, gently laying a hand on his bare, freckled shoulder.

 

“Definitely,” Hiccup agreed, brushing some dripping strands of hair from his eyes. “Thanks for convincing me to come out here. It’s been great.” The two remained silent for a minute, enraptured by the equally tender sparks in the other’s eyes. Although months continued to pass since their grand marriage had occurred, simple intimate moments had not yet become commonplace. They both strongly desired that such indifference would never transpire. This current moment, however, was short-lived; a growl from Hiccup’s stomach interrupted the romantic gazing.

 

“Let’s get some lunch now,” Astrid suggested, glancing at the far shore. “The dragons seem to have settled down.” Beneath the trees where the dragon nip flourished dozed Stormfly and Toothless, curled up beside one another like hatchlings.

 

“Great idea!” Hiccup replied, hopping off the root. “Fish and potatoes sound really good right now.” With a large gasp of air he ducked under the water, leaving a trail of bubbles above the surface as he swam.

 

 Astrid giggled at the passion of an incredibly hungry Viking and began to follow, keeping her head above water to survey the picturesque nature surrounding her. Her eyes moved upwards as they climbed the lofty tree trunks, halting where they faded into the sky. Then she turned her gaze to the vegetation neighboring the swamp, noting how exceptionally lush every plant appeared. Returning her eyes to her husband who was nearing the opposite shore, she noticed that an unidentified object had appeared in his wake. Upon paddling closer Astrid recognized its form, startled and amused. “Um…Hiccup…” she hesitated as Hiccup resurfaced, uncertain how to proceed.

 

With all the devotion of a newly married man, Hiccup ceased treading water and turned back to face his wife. While he floated in shallower waters near shore, Astrid still remained in the center of the swamp. Immediately his eyes focused on the drifting object – a pair of brown animal hide underwear. A deep crimson rose to his cheeks, rendering him as red as Gobber’s recent sunburn. A quick downward glance told him all he needed to know. “Uh…” he stuttered uncomfortably, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ll just…” Before finishing his labored sentence he started swimming towards the garment.

 

“Are those yours?” Astrid asked, repressing the laughter that was bubbling up inside her. She was his wife now, providing her with no basis for embarrassment; however, she thoroughly enjoyed observing Hiccup’s bashful countenance.

 

“Yup. Must have lost them somehow,” Hiccup responded with a nervous chuckle.

 

“No need to be embarrassed,” Astrid assured him, allowing some of her pent up laughter to escape. “It’s not like I’ve never seen you without them before. Besides, we’re all alone on this island.”

 

As soon as Hiccup’s flustered brain comprehended the obvious facts, he paused. “Hey, you’re right. I guess I’m still not used to this whole ‘being married’ thing,” he said with an adorable grin, his vibrant blush melting into a soft pink.

 

Astrid gazed lovingly at the Viking for a moment before turning her eyes back to the stray garment. After a few seconds of scrutinizing it, she remarked, “Huh, they don’t look very familiar. Are you sure they’re yours?”

 

“Well if they’re not mine then why am I naked?” asked Hiccup with a mixture of humor and apprehension.

 

“They just look too large,” Astrid observed, fingering her waterlogged braid. “And I thought all your undies were grey.”

 

It took a few seconds of analysis before Hiccup experienced the same epiphany that Astrid had attained. “Now that you mention it, they don’t look like mine at all! That’s why they fell off!” he realized, stroking his bristled chin. “Then why was I wearing them?” He began to make wide gestures, flailing his arms in his own signature fashion.

 

“They could have gotten mixed up with your laundry accidentally,” Astrid suggested with a shrug. “The wind could have blown them onto the clothesline.”

 

“True, true,” Hiccup allowed, narrowing his eyes in contemplation. “Or this could be a retaliation prank from Snotlout!” he deduced, waving in the general direction of Berk.

 

“Retaliation prank?” his wife asked, intrigued.

 

“Yeah, I was expecting something like this,” Hiccup admitted. “For the past few weeks I’ve been sending Snotlout letters from ‘Future Snotlout,’ giving him all kinds of warnings and advice, from ‘the mead is poisoned’ to ‘how to win Ruffnut’s heart.’ I thought for a while there that he actually believed he was receiving letters from his future self!” While this fact was unknown to most, a small fraction of the chief’s limited spare time was devoted to harmlessly pulling pranks on Snotlout. Although Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III had matured considerably and had never displayed rowdiness, he occasionally allowed himself the guilty pleasure of tricking Snotlout’s arrogant and gullible brain.

 

“That’s ingenious!” Astrid laughed, impressed with the hilarious creativity of her husband. The only pranks on Snotlout of which she had known were a few they executed together many years ago. These gags were chiefly devised and promoted by her; she was unaware that Hiccup was willingly continuing in their old shenanigans.

 

“Yeah, but I guess he finally figured out the truth. I think he’s growing slightly smarter with age,” Hiccup observed, creating ripples in the water with his index finger.

 

“Took him long enough,” Astrid muttered, recalling all the irksome advances she had received from Snotlout years ago.

 

Although Hiccup was enjoying this delightful little chat, he felt quite exposed without any underwear. Despite the fact that they were foreign and gigantic, modesty obliged him to don them again. Returning to Berk without them was certainly not a viable option. “Anyway, back to the underwear,” he said, beginning again to swim towards the article. As he observed Astrid approaching them as well, he asked, “Oh, good, can you toss me those?”

 

Upon reaching the oversized underpants, Astrid snatched them up with a smirk and began swimming in the opposite direction. Murky water flew in all directions as she swiftly glided through the swamp. “Make me, Hicc!” she challenged.

 

A mischievous grin spread across Hiccup’s features as he was intrigued by the invitation. “You’re horrible! You’re going to regret this!” he shouted with a laugh, furiously increasing his velocity. “And what? What is with this strange nickname? Hicc? That’s all you could come up with? That’s just a shortened version of my name! If I shortened your name like that it would be too vulgar to utter around dragon ears!”

 

As Hiccup desperately attempted to retrieve his unmentionables from an invigorated and impish Astrid, they were wholly unaware that they and their dragons were not the only creatures on the island. On the other end of the lake, opposite from where the dragons rested, slinked Snotlout, crouching in the cover of a large elderberry bush. The muscular Viking sat by observing the couple in the swamp as the chief tackled his wife and held her submerged for a moment, ultimately emerging triumphantly in possession of the undergarment.

 

“Heh, guess my prank did work,” Snotlout muttered with a chuckle. “But, Odin, they are so weird! Glad I just arrived. I do not want to know what was going on earlier…” The self-proclaimed ladies’ man was easily revolted by any form of affection Hiccup and Astrid displayed towards one another. Perhaps their marriage ceremony, respecting the traditions of old, had left permanent scars on Snotlout’s brain.  Or maybe old bridled jealousy still remained in his heart, though he claimed not to possess such a vulnerable organ. His nauseous stomach reminded him that he would not be peeping on the zealous couple without a strong motive. His eyes were blind to the sight of Astrid and Hiccup smooching as his distracted mind willingly transported him to an hour before.

 

“Can you believe it? This has Eret’s saliva on it!” squawked Ruffnut euphorically. Clutched in her hand was the stub of an extremely gnawed pencil.

 

“Who cares?” Snotlout shrugged with forced indifference. He and Ruffnut had wandered into the woods because Ruffnut had claimed to desire some time alone with the man. In reality, however, her sole purpose was to rave about the little souvenir she rescued from Eret’s rubbish bin. Vexed and fatigued by Ruffnut’s excessive obsessing, Snotlout had plopped down on a tree stump and had begun polishing his hammer. “That guy’s so lame, chewing on a pencil. I can chew on a rock!” he boasted, picking up a stone and gnawing on it. Before long he discarded it, wincing in pain and rubbing his sore jaw. “See?”

 

“Yuck!” Ruffnut scowled in disgust. “You’re half the man Eret is! No, quarter the man!” With a pensive expression the girl began to count on her fingers until her eyes illuminated with what she believed was the correct answer. “Actually, make that two fifteenth!”

 

Restraining himself from exploding at such a peculiar insult, Snotlout boldly declared, “I am more of a man than anyone on this island!” Arising from the tree stump, the Viking whirled around his hammer haphazardly before freezing into a valiant pose.

 

Ruffnut was on the verge of retorting with a retching noise when an idea struck her. Such clever notions were exceedingly rare for the twin, prompting her to utilize it immediately. “If you’re such a man then you won’t mind doing me a favor,” she challenged with an impish glint in her apatite-colored eyes.

 

“Of course!” Snotlout replied without thought. “Anything for you, baby!” He futilely attempted to appear irresistible as he flexed one of his bulging biceps.

 

“Good,” Ruffnut expressed, a devious smirk stretching across her features. Sitting down upon a nearby boulder, the twin folded her arms across her chest. “Fetch me Hiccup’s metal leg,” she commanded nonchalantly.

 

Snotlout, who hadn’t previously considered the probable impossibility of whatever Ruffnut demanded, forgetting all the outrageous quests on which she employed him in the past, received the request with flabbergasted ears. The realization of his fatal mistake dawned upon him a moment too late. “What?” he exploded, saliva spraying from his mouth. “How am I supposed to get that? That’s impossible! I can’t just walk up to Hiccup and steal his leg!”

 

“You’ll find a way,” Ruffnut said indifferently. She paid no heed to his obvious mortification, wholly invested in removing some grime from her nails with her saliva.

 

“But I can’t!” Snotlout persisted, flailing his arms frantically. “He used to be an over glorified loser, but he’s the chief now! There’s sadly a limit on what I can do to him. Raid his underwear drawer – yes. But swipe his metal leg? No!” Although Snotlout greatly delighted in pulling pranks on the scrawny Viking he only recently learned to respect, his self preservation instinct told him that serious consequences would follow such a theft.

 

“Not my problem,” Ruffnut responded with a shrug. “Bring me the leg or you’re not a true man.”

The brilliant How To Train Your Dragon 2 finally inspired me to write and somehow complete a Hiccstrid fanfiction. I didn't mean it to be such a long one shot, but the ideas just kept flowing. I had to break it up into two parts because dA wasn't happy about it's large size. :lmao:

For anyone who actually reads the entire thing, thank you very much! You're awesome. :love: And if you lost interest and stopped part way in, you're still awesome too. I totally understand the tl;dr motive. But please read my story.

Note: I don't know why the spacing is weird and extra large. I just copied it from MS Word...Oh well. :shrug:

Part II: astridhofferson.deviantart.com…
© 2014 - 2024 AstridHofferson
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PantherFlint's avatar
Great King Solomon reference!